What to Expect from Coaching

So you're about to have your first experience working with a professional coach.  It's normal to have some uncertainty, even apprehension about what to expect.  In my experience, most people are pleasantly surprised to discover how it goes, once they actually get started.  If you'd like a head start on that discovery, here's my take on what to know coming in.

Coaching is a Partnership.

We each have unique responsibilities within the coaching partnership.  Our first step will be to clarify these roles and responsibilities, but it's not a one-and-done check the box.  The partnership can and should evolve as we get to know each other.  To prime the pump, here are some high level principles that I always incorporate in my coaching partnership agreements.

Client Responsibilities:

• You are responsible for own choices.  This includes the choice of where to focus the coaching.  Beyond my general positioning as a "leadership coach," I will not define for you the specifics of what we work on together.  I will not choose the coaching topics for you. I will not tell you what actions to take. I will not interpret your experiences for you.  You own your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and I will actively support you to take responsibility for them.
• You are responsible for showing up and engaging.  Your role is not a passive one.  You're not sitting in the back of class quietly absorbing something that I'm dishing out.  You are actively creating what you need from our partnership.  In practice, this means opening up about what you want, what you don't want, what's getting in your way, how you feel, what you're willing to do and not do, etc.
• You are responsible for your own growth and development.  As much as I'd like to tell you (or any interested stakeholders) that I can change you, it's clearly not true.  Personal growth happens from the inside out.  I will bring a process and set of skills designed to help you take this responsibility, but it's critical to understand the growth itself is in your power, not mine.

Coach's Responsibilities:

• I will create a safe and supportive container for the partnership.  I won't assume that I know what you need.  I won't interpret the events of your life for you and I won't judge you or evaluate you.  I will explain and set boundaries around confidentiality and the ethics of coaching.
• I will listen to understand what you want and where you want to go.  This includes asking you lots of questions.  I will ask and listen, serving as a mirror for you to process your thinking, feelings, behavior, and choices.  This is the heart of coaching and is the thing a professional coach has learned to do with a high level of skill.
• I will offer my honest responses to everything you bring into the coaching partnership.   Almost always, this means more questions and more listening, but with the intention of moving you in the direction you want to move in.  If I can't meet my responsibilities to you and our partnership, I will say so.  I will never hold a hidden agenda.  Trust between you and me is the foundation.

This is a short introduction to what to expect from coaching.  As we get started, we will generate more specifics.  Most importantly, go into your coaching with clear intentions.  Give thought to what you want from the experience of coaching and what you need from our partnership to support that. 

And don't worry.  I will support and guide you throughout the process.